While I beaver away on the next big disaster movie montage I thought I’d reveal how far I’ve got. The new montage will be a three song epic and this is the first. Music is “The Initiation” by Adam Fielding and the clips come from “Baraka” and “Chronos”, designed to let you enjoy planet Earth for a bit before we destroy it over the following two tracks!
Archive for February, 2011
Film Review: Britannic
Posted in Britannic with tags amanda ryan, ben daniels, Britannic, disaster movie, edward attenton, film, film review, jacqueline bisset, john rhys davies, Review, ship, sinking ship, titanic, tv movie on February 26, 2011 by Higher Plain Music
Titanic’s lesser known sister eh? These ships sure know how to keep it in the family!
The Premise
Germans decide to sabotage the Britannic, sister to Titanic during World War I. Cue an unlikely baddie, an equally unlikely goodie and lots of posh people trapped in the middle – to fight it out in this tug o war.
The Disasters Faced
A quickly sinking ship but really the biggest killer is the giant propeller of the ship which appears to take out more lives than the actual ship itself!
The Execution
Although the Britannic is a TV movie, it does hold some good production values and to some degree this is both its triumph and its downfall. It’s a triumph as everything is made very competently. The script is feasible, the story line is dumb but the acting raises its believability and the film chugs along at a decent enough pace. However over the entire movie is a Dr Quinn sheen. Everything’s too shiny. Everyone’s too perfectly dressed and make-up’d. There’s no blood, dirt or grime. This means that while it’s perfectly watchable it lacks character. There’s the typical first class lot (Jacqueline Bisset back for more disaster fun) who scoff that another ship could sink and the usual Captain Birdseye at the helm. It’s all by the numbers and therefore doesn’t enthrall. The sabotage storyline is skewed so that our lead lady can save the day and fall in love with the baddie in a silly manner and it just doesn’t work at all – feeling forced and contrived. The absence of death in general is surprising and I cannot believe the films rated as a 15! I’ve seen PG’s with more violence.
The Effects
Some poorly inserted greenscreen shots look very generic and computer generated. The sinking itself is not shown dramatically and the actual wide shots look like they’ve come from a PlayStation 1 games FMV segment. The flooded sets are much better however and give a great claustrophobic (albeit shiny) feel for our main duo to splash around shouting in.
Why It’s Worth Watching
The love story is hilariously bad but aside from that, everything else works in a ten-year olds adventure story kind of way. Think BBC2 on a sunday afternoon kind of film. Inoffensive, you can doze off merrily and rejoin the action knowing exactly where you are. The acting is well done and credit to the well-known names for not coasting their way through it.
Best Death
There are so few so I’ll go with our baddie Edward Atterton who finally gets his comeuppance when his lifeboat is sucked into the propeller and he gets promptly diced up for the sea creatures below. A good way to go no matter how tastefully it’s done…
Favourite Character
Everyone is very bland but at least Bisset owns her lady role to a T.
Weirdest Moment
Despite the whole love element between the two leads being so clunky I’m going to give the award to my copies DVD cover. The cover not only has the tagline “Intrigue, romance and disaster” spelt wrong but so are some of the stars’ names and some other words on the cover are missing! What drunken sailor designed the Uk release of this movie’s cover?!
Conclusion
By being completely inoffensive, mild and restrained Britannic manages to completely avoid giving you any kind of emotional strain whatsoever and while that means it’s not an awful film, it’s certainly not a good one either. I’d rather laugh at how awful something is and get more enjoyment out of a film that way than just sit numb. Sorry!
Film Review: “In Old Chicago”
Posted in In Old Chicago with tags 1871, 1930s, alice brady, alice faye, andy devine, brian donlevy, cinema, disaster, disaster movie, don amache, film, film review, fire, flick, history, In Olc Chicago, june storey, madame sultewae, movie, Review, tom brown, tyrone power on February 24, 2011 by Higher Plain Music
Time for us to delve back to 1937 for this disaster movie classic “In Old Chicago” where brotherly love is the last thing on the agenda and stalking is game of the day!
The Premise
The O’Leary family move to Chicago the 1850′s and proceed to rip the entire town to pieces with their family feuds and a dozy cow called Daisy that sets the whole place alight.
The Disasters Faced
The great Chicago fire of 1871, warring brothers, endless hammy musical numbers, a stampede (!), a lot of licking (!!!) and the O Leary’s having the polar opposite of a midas touch.
The Execution
It’s interesting to go back to 30′s cinema to see exactly what was acceptable and / or provocative in those days. Any chance for a lady to swoon for her man, sing a song and submit is used. Any excuse for a man to be flashy and loud is also used. The UK sadly only has the 91 minute edited version on release although if it were musical numbers that were cut, I’m none too fussed about losing those! What is here though is a 70 minute family feud between two brothers. One runs a popular “seedy” (read lady sings song and wiggles skirt) club called “The Patch”, the other is a respectable lawyer who becomes Major and wants said club removed. Tensions between them boil and when mummy dearest starts off the Chicago fire, the brothers clash thinking it was foul play and not an accident. The remaining 20 minutes follows the fire and we watch to see whom survives. Not a lot has changed in the genre in 80 years has it! In fact this film itself was said to be mimicking “San Francisco”, an earthquake movie released at the same time. Some of the best 30′s cinematography and effects are on view here and still hold up incredibly well in this day and age. While cultures and times have changed – the need for blowing things up has stayed true to the core. Go humans!
The Effects
Being filmed in black and white makes for more forgiving times for In Old Chicago on the special effects front. The town sets look very much like a backlot set by how squared everything is however the actual fire itself is still very impressive. The flames are real, buildings collapse, factories explode (albeit looking a bit polystyrene) and there’s some extremely impressive wide shots that I really didn’t believe were possible in that day. One particular scene sees a detonation of a line of buildings to stop the fire spreading further and this explodes out onto and kills two characters – it looks fantastic! You can tell the film took 22 months to make just by the sheer destruction in the last phase of the film.
I’d take that over some of the tv movie cgi hazards on our screens anyday!
Why It’s Worth Watching
It’s worth watching as a good family drama with a big budget ending. The fight scene with the two brothers is comic gold as the camera is undercranked and so the men fly across the room at high-speed! The romance between Tyrone Power and Alice Faye is one of the most bizarre I’ve ever seen. Watch as Power first throws money at her, then attacks her in her wagon, then breaks into her house and pins her to the floor and all but forces himself on her before he declares he’s only there to make money off her “talents”. Alice Faye suddenly smiles and kisses him!!! How about phoning the police and having him sectioned!!! Watch as the Swedish milk maid screams “Ya” through the entire movie. It’s dated approach is what endears it to us of times gone by where things are seen with rose tinted glasses. The fire itself is reason alone to watch too. Finally its also worth watching to see your reaction at the end of the movie when the mother declares that things are sent to try us and they have to start anew. Lady, its all your bloody fault! The family has a death wish.
Best Death
While I can think of three memorable deaths, the winner goes to Brian Donlevy who manages to escape the chicago fire, only to be killed in a stampede instead! It’s worse than when Slim Pickens survives the entire Poseidon Adventure films and then gets shot dead swimming to the rescue boat. Epic fail!
Favourite Character
Hattie (Madame Sultewae) is hilarious as the servant to Alice Faye. Managing to get away with the same awful joke twice and spending her entire on scream time running round screaming “help, police”. Very underrated and by the fact on imdb she has 52 credits to her name, yet the vast majority are uncredited is a shame to both her skill and black actors and actresses of that time.
Weirdest Moment
There are many but the best weirdest moments are those where instead of beating someone up, the word of the era was “licking”. Cue classic lines throughout the film such as one brother saying to another “I haven’t licked you since we got to Chicago! ad infinitum. You’d still be arrested for that interfamily act now boys…
Conclusion
Due for its 75th anniversary very shortly, In Old Chicago may have some outdated language and social standards but it’s still a very enjoyable film. The special effects have held up surprisingly well and the fire is beautifully captured. If you can take your disaster with a large order of family drama and four musical numbers (thankfully in the first half) then this is your ideal movie. For everyone else, it’s a great introduction to early cinema.
Nature Unleashed: Earthquake
Posted in Nature Unleashed: Earthquake with tags budget movie, damian hunt, disaster movie, earthquake, film, finton mckeowan, flick, jacinta mulachy, lydie denier, michael zelnicker, movie, nature unleashed, nature unleashed earthquake, patrick dreikauss, Review, tv movie, zoe thorne on February 17, 2011 by Higher Plain Music
The Nature Unleashed series has certainly had its helerious moments but by far the best of the set is Earthquake. Despite its strange accents, poor dialogue and inaccuracies – it’s still fairly good fun.
The Premise
Lots of Europeans pretending to be Americans are in Russia (why not cut the middle man?!) working on a nuclear plant when an Earthquake strikes. Will the plant go up? (No, its a low budget film!)
The Disasters Faced
Earthquakes, train crashes, falling debris, an elevator and a wide variety of accents and me man you ape dialogue delivery!
The Execution
The plot surrounds a broken family of four spread across a Russian city when the quake hits. For the first quarter of an hour our two leads row with eachother before they even announce they were married before. You know then they’ll declare undying love before the credits role. Everyone in Russia appears to be pretending to be American. None of them really get away with it.
The main two sets are a train wreck with the daughter and her teacher, and a fairly impressive looking nuclear plant that was obviously built by cowboys as it falls apart at a rate of knots. While the effects aren’t great (although some of collapsing buildings are actually done properly and so look more impressive than cheap CGI) and the script does nothing new (“I won’t let you down…. EVER!”), where the film works well is in its pacing. There’s usually something silly going on or building up to something. From being trapped in a train, to climbing elevator shafts to watching a hot room get hotter – it keeps you going. This is good because the 90 minute tv movie works much better usually than the three hour mini series for pacing and suspense. Of course there’s a whole lot of silliness in plots and action sequences but nothing that’s outrageously pathetic.
The Effects
Most of the earthquake centres on small close up set pieces but because the sets are real, they work quite well. The train derailing isn’t cringeworthy either. The guilty parties are the CGI flames in the train afterwreck and the miniatures looking very shiny!
Why It’s Worth Watching
I’m surprised its scored so lowly on IMDB. Some shoddier works in the genre have higher scores than 3.7 and I don’t think this film deserves that at all. Is it a masterpiece? Certainly not – but it’s far from god awful. It’s well paced, if a bit gore and death lite. Those of us who enjoy all the badness in a movie can relish in some of surreal accents attempted – including one man who literally talks like Tarzan in English.. but in an Americanized accent. You can also whine at the daughter Cherrie’s really annoying voice that gets more high pitched the further the movie continues. Still, its all in good jest just to see how you’ll find the family all back in love with eachother in ninety minutes time.
Best Death
There’s only two character deaths on screen and so that award goes to Leon who after being blinded by hot steam early on eventually gets pancaked by a falling elevator! Double whammy! Obviously wanted to get rid one of the better European-American accented people early as they cost more…
Favourite Character
Purely for the fact that every line he speaks has such a unique delivery and that he survives the whole ordeal – Vicktor (Michael Zelnicker). Primative is the word.
Weirdest Moment
Aside from all of Vicktor’s lines and the stupid shmultzy wedding ring saves the day ending, how the hell did Leon know exactly where to move his chess piece when he’s not even in the the same building at the beginning of the film?!
Conclusion
Goofy, unintentionally comical in places but still well cobbled together, Nature Unleashed: Earthquake is a silly but enjoyable enough disaster movie that is small in scale and big on cheese.
Film Review: Titanic II
Posted in Titanic II with tags bad movie, brooke burns, bruce davison, d.c. douglas, death, disaster movie, drown, dylan vox, film, iceberg, marie westbrook, michelle galvan, parody, rubbish, shane van dyke, ship, silly, sink, the asylum, titanic, Titanic II, whittly jourdan on February 10, 2011 by Higher Plain Music
Just when we thought it was safe to return to the seas this monstrosity lumbers onto our screens. Not only does this film win the award for worst plot of the new millennium, it also wins the award for the darkest screen colour palette in a movie. This films dire. Dare you read on?
The Premise
On the 100th birthday of the Titanic’s maiden voyage, Titanic II is launched to follow the footsteps of the original vessel and through a series of events ends up in the same fate as her original. Only its not been done quite so badly before!
The Disasters Faced
Icebergs, tsunami’s, badly CGI’s fires, the male lead’s ego, a very big and a step that will trip everyone to death throughout the movie!
The Execution
Filmed in “Darkovision”, Titanic II is black. Very black. So black infact that at times you have no idea what’s going on for periods of about thirty seconds. Add to that some of these are the effects shots and we have your base line for judging the movie.
First things first. The plot stinks. Why not just rename it another boat? Well that wouldn’t pull in as many sales now would it. In a strange sidestory whipped from the opening of Day After Tomorrow, an Ice Shelf is collapsing the huge collapses send tidal waves across the sea pushing icebergs into Titanic II’s path. The first wave renders the ship damaged and off it sinks. At I think that’s what happened – the screen is so dark throughout the whole thing I actually turned my contrast up on the TV in confusion! Sadly the characters onboard are all a bit stupid. The main duo look uncomfortable together, the male lead (whom also directed and wrote the film – now that’s a one man show) character is so unlikable you wish he was the first character to go. Aside from the main four, the rest just aren’t given any character at all and so when they perish you’re so indifferent to it, it doesn’t matter. The script is awful, the acting varies on such a vast scale from competent to pantomime its jarring and it all feels like a cobbled together mess.
The Effects
The ice shelf collapses are standard TV Movie fair graphics and although the ship looks nice when its sat still (with obvious blue screen skies behind) the sinking and general computer effects are just poor. At least with Megafault, they were passable but things appear to take a backward step here. This is down to the fact destruction is relatively easy to do but water is so fluid, you need to have decent effects for it to work at all. Some of the sets are quite nice I suppose!
Why It’s Worth Watching
I can’t really say it is unless you’re a diehard fan of the genre or enjoy watching people screaming and falling over some stairs in weird cuts throughout a movie.
Best Death
I have to say most of the deaths are meant to be big events all ruined by shoddy effects and set ups (or black screens!) but the turbine explosion which takes out the captain is about as fun as it gets on that front. However it must said best death goes to Kelly (Michelle Glavan) who manages to die being squashed by a door. Heroically. I kid you not.
Favourite Character
The ship is full of people whom aren’t really nice at all so I’ll go for the poor lady Elijia (Whittly Jourdan) who deals with the lifeboat evacuation who seems like one of the few genuine people onboard. Of course, she dies.
Weirdest Moment
Aside from door death, aside from oh-my-god-its-a-stair-fall-over-and-scream moments at five minute intervals, there is one laugh out loud moment that had me in stitches. In a hark back to James Cameron’s Titanic where Rose and Jack are running down a corridor being chased by a wave of water (followed by epileptic inducing disco light show), our leads Hayden and Amy mirror the exact same moment. However where is the tidal wave? There isn’t one. Instead we cut to a dripping puddle while a gushing water sound is heard! Oops.
Conclusion
I’ve been unusually harsh with Titanic II but then it deserves it because it dares to ride a cheap marketing trick and delivers a movie that sub-tv movie standard. Sometimes films are so bad their good again and readers of this site will know I treasure those. Titanic II however is so busy trying to pretend its something fantastic it just stays firmly in the bad sector and has no redeeming qualities at all. Equal bottom with 2012 Doomsday for worst disaster movie I’ve seen in absolutely years.
Film Trailers: Atomic Train
Posted in Atomic Train with tags Atomic Train, disaster movie, Film Trailer, movie, trailer, tv movie on February 10, 2011 by Higher Plain MusicUS Trailer
UK Trailer
Film Review: When Time Ran Out…
Posted in When Time Ran Out... with tags barabara carrera, burgess meredith, disaster movie, edward albert, ernest borgnine, film, film review, jacqueline bisset, james franciscus, movie, pat morita, paul newman, red buttons, Review, sheila allen, valentina cortese, veronica hamel, volcano, when time ran out, william holden on February 2, 2011 by Higher Plain Music
Dear Irwin Allen,
When faced with an implosion of the disaster genre as we know it, please next time go out with a bang and not a crayola whimper of an explosion. Thanks! Welcome to the wonderous bomb of a movie that absolutely hits the so bad its good nail so squarely on the head, you’d think it was actually a parody. When Time Ran Out aka When Cash Ran Out After Buying the Cast…
The Premise
Let’s build a hotel on an island with nothing else on it but oil and a volcano and pretend we’re all safe while it spews out smoke. Ah yes, that little nuggett!
The Disasters Faced
A volcano that can shoot lava bombs with inch perfect precision, a very dodgy bridge, a ledge, at least half the male casts libedo’s and a whole lot of looped dialogue not quite synched with the mouths.
The Execution
Faced with two massive bombs at the box office The Swarm (so bad its good) and Beyond the Poseidon Adventure (also the same) Irwin Allen had one last attempt at the big screen and spent most of it in the 70′s tradition grabbing a whole lot of high profile names – most of which had already been in a big disaster movie in the decade already! He then spent the rest of the money shipping them all the Hawaii where utilising the beautiful island and a great hotel appeared to have left no money for a script, any special effects nor any time for common sense to prevail at all for the film. The result is a slightly surreal experience of lots of high profile names in absolutely absurd conditions and situations – it’s like the b-movie everyone wanted to be in! When Time Runs Out… also seems to be a bit of a nostalgic hurrah for the genre too as many people end up reprising the same roles as they did earlier in the decade. Paul Newman runs around warning everyone, Jacqueline Bisset is stuck in a love trist, Red Buttons is left looking after someone who can’t cope, Shelia Allen finally gets to actually survive one her husbands films fully intact – its all a bit too close for comfort to previous films in the genre that all done the same things but a lot better. This is the reason why it comes across as a bit of a parody. The deaths are helerious, the effects substandard and the story makes no sense at all. One character actually survives the whole ordeal without actually having a line except for a scream or two at the end – who is she?! What’s her name? It’s infuriating! Yet it draws you in because you can’t believe the silliness involved and thus optimises the so-bad-its-great sub genre in disaster movies.
The Effects
The film suffers due to its low budget projection screens of a falling stunt guy or girl that just do not belong in the shots they are in. Followed by some of the fakest pyrotechnic explosions and fire I’ve witnessed and the fact the volcano appears to change shape, size and distance from the hotel to suit the need of the drama, it’s just laughable – particularly with the final big “explosion”. The only bit that works well is the tidal wave flood at a push and the helicopter crash.
Why It’s Worth Watching
It’s so damn helerious. Watch as mouths don’t match speech, effects dazzle you into tears of laughter, stars are tossed spinning into lava with cheesy screams. The film takes on a better feel if you use it as a drinking game. Drink everytime someone kisses someone they shouldn’t – or everytime an effect makes you laugh – or everytime someone does something that goes against any resonable logic (volcano lift anyone?!). You will be ruined by half way I promise you.
Best Death
Two death’s spring to mind. One it Pat Morita’s memorable acrobatic death into the lava right at the end. I laughed far too much. The second is the Veronica Hamel who is just the wettest wife ever screaming so loud she smashes her mirror just before she gets it – although how she could possibly know the lava bomb is coming I have no idea – she’s not even looking at the window.
Favourite Character
Character development is not this films strong point by any means. Paul Newman’s about the only one with any sense at all aside from Edward Albert but he has such little screen time (as do many of the main characters) it seems it has to go to him! I’d have preferred to see the 141 minute version and not 105 minute version released on DVD because maybe some character development or just some background might have helped me along abit.
Weirdest Moment
Cockfighting anyone? Volcano lift with a glass floor that breaks with just one flame? Cast members unable to say “Bob Spangler”? It’s all nuts!
Conclusion
I have ripped the film apart but that’s to show that you shouldn’t be watching this film if you don’t enjoy badly done movies. This is an absolute hoot however if you enjoy cringeworthy effects, silly scripts, plots that make no sense and a general what the hell feeling! I love it!
Film Trailer: Asteroid
Posted in Asteroid with tags Asteroid, disaster movie, film, Film Trailer, movie, movie trailer, trailer on February 1, 2011 by Higher Plain MusicThis late 90′s TV disaster movie was cut from its three hour epic down to a usual film length for its DVD release and entertains well. Here’s the trailer from our YT channel.
