Archive for flick

Film Review: Fire (Irwin Allen)

Posted in Fire! (Irwin Allen) with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 28, 2012 by Higher Plain Music

Missing from DVD for a long time, finally we have some Irwin Allen classics coming back out for release and thank goodness – this little gems great fun!

The Premise

A small spark becomes a blaze… hang on Irwin – you’ve done this before? Oh it’s in a forest!!!

The Disasters Faced

Fire, falling trees, blowing up your car, blowing up your helicopter, rolling your car, being left inside a car or going on a school trip in a van with the worlds worst teacher ever. Transport is bad!

The Execution

Made for TV in 1977 when Irwin Allen was still very much a big character in the film industry, this is your equivalent of what we get now in these long drawn out 4 hour specials. Irwin however decides to cram it all into two hours anyway and cleverly uses all the budget he has to great effect. He brings in stars and rolls out Ernest Borgnine to play quite possibly the nicest man in disaster movie history who ends up driving round from drama to drama trying to save people as he goes. A lot of the film owes itself to Ernest for being earnest!  I’ve not wanted to cheer someone on for saving so many lemming like people for a long while. For a 1977 TV movie it surpassed my expectations and looks infinity better put together than say Beyond the Poseidon or When Time Ran Out.

The Effects

Real fire and stock footage is used often and with the cameras staying close to the flames, you feel much more of the sense of urgency than the actual flames themselves would really portray. It’s clever but it works. Some of the stunts still look very good too. Things were so much better when they didn’t resort to CGI for every tiny thing.

Why It’s Worth Watching

The fire is up and at it by the ten minute mark and you’re drip fed action throughout the film. The characters as a whole are likeable although you’ll want to slap the teacher for being the wettest woman since Ariel. You should play drinking games for every time she has to be checked on, or that Vera Miles calls someone on the phone just to panic, or when Alex Cord’s very deep voice makes you want to laugh when he’s trying to bicker with his wife. It’s perfectly cheesy and that’s why we love it.

Favourite Character

It has to be Ernest Borgnine’s Sam - everyone’s lovable hero.

Best Death

Relatively light of big deaths, the biggest is saved for the end… you knew poor Ernie was going to be a cropper. The number one rule is never be the nice guy – you’ll never make it. Instead you’ll roly poly down a cliff edge in a jeep in a fireball. Toodles!

Weirdest Moment

There are a few but it’s a toss up between Lloyd Nolan whom spends most of the movie trapped in a car and then sat on a sofa with virtually no lines, or the rubbish teacher who decides to nearly die of shock! Return to life by the power of smelling salts!!!

Conclusion

Daft in a way only Irwin Allen knows how, everything looks fun, everyone is potentially on the death list and the film is tightly woven so the TV values do not shine through. A great product of its time. Allen fans need to see this.

Film Review: Sanctum

Posted in Sanctum with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 5, 2012 by Higher Plain Music

James Cameron not satisfied with getting one wet film to the top of the box office tries it again with Sanctum – a film all about cave diving. That well-known sport we all know and love…

The Premise

Lots of rich and generally unlikable people go cave diving and fail to get back out again before a bit rain storm floods the area! Time to swim for survival!

The Disasters Faced

Water, floods, rain, getting yourself trapped under rubble, landing on said rubble, having long hair and each other! Generally everything is bad.

The Execution

Rich people (goes into dream world). You have all the fun. You can go cave diving for fun in South America and experience the beauty of the world. Shame then a rain storm comes along and kills most of you! Sanctum is blood thirty and lets you know that when one of the cast is killed before the disaster even begins. From there it’s an action packed ride as we watch one by one the crew all meet their maker in new and inventive ways. In many ways, most you can see coming because there’s a little hint of Charlie and the Chocolate factory behind all the deaths. Each character is flawed and those flaws end up being their undoing in general. If it’s not, you’ve just been unlucky! The film runs tightly and cinematography is absolutely stunning. How they make some of the underwater shots look so beautiful I’ve no idea. It’s just a shame the characters (not the cast) are in the main vile – but then that makes us cheer I guess when they do go pop.

The Effects

As stated above the camera work and the underwater stunts are particularly impressive. Some of the darkest depths of our Earth suddenly look very inviting to go to. Also big props to the make up department for some very nasty looking cuts and bruises.

Why It’s Worth Watching

Aside from the effects, it’s trying to predict which member of the crew takes a time out next. The film is very vicious and includes self sacrifices and murder. Have a drink someone pops their clogs for a game, or whenever we get dragged into the rather tedious father/son argument that carries the main duo throughout the movie. You’ll be sloshed by mid way.

Favourite Character

Ioan Gruffudd plays the cocky and vile Carl perfectly and while I wain back and forth between liking and disliking him, he is by far the most interesting of the bunch as he teeters back and force from going absolutely nuts.

Favourite Death

There’s so many! I’ll go with Luko’s long drawn out double death early on who is eventually left with such bad injuries from a very nasty fall it’s left to our leader to drown him to ease his pain… charming!

Weirdest Moment

I either blinked or missed it but where on Earth did Liz and JD go? It’s like they go off in a separate area, we see them struggling on a rope line but then it never returns back to them again. Did they live or die? Or did I miss them perish when I was pouring my next drink?

Conclusion

Sanctum is full of thrills and spills. The limited character development in such a compact film is to be expected but the actors do a good job even if the characters come across as brats at times. I was not surprised by the ending but enjoyed my journey there. Just be grateful the bath has a plug!

Film Review: SOS Titanic

Posted in SOS Titanic with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 5, 2012 by Higher Plain Music

On the eve of the 100th Anniversairy of Titanic’s sinking, it seems fit to review all the Titanic films I’ve seen and finally, after a long wait, SOS Titanic was finally released on DVD in the UK. Worth the wait? I’d certainly say so.

The Premise

If you don’t know a Titanic film by now, you never will. This is a distinctly British stab at it trying to recreate actual events from witness accounts.

The Disasters Faced

The Iceberg, stacking it in your fine gown and a runaway piano.

The Execution

What a difference a fine set of actors and actresses make to a film. Whilst the film does boast some very good production values – especially with set and costume design – it’s the acting that really raises the bar. Each person has their own stage presence – one lady doesn’t even say a word throughout the film yet she makes herself more than known throughout. As ever with a Titanic film, there’s a good cross-section of passengers and crew from all classes and they each have their own drama’s ongoing. What marks this out is that each character nicely fleshed out. How refreshing it is to see Molly Brown worry and fret about being alone, to see 2nd class passengers discuss how they are strangely in the middle of system (a class often left out in other films) and so on. The action sequences are shot and put together so that they get the most out of what they had and it simply just feels different compared to a lot of the cut and paste romance riddled imitators of James Cameron’s version – one that would come nearly 20 years after this one.

The Effects

Some of the big view shots are still pictures and there’s some clever camera trickery that now is quite easy to spot but everything does the job. The set designs are generally fantastic though.

Why Its Worth Watching

SOS Titanic in its current shortened version is a fantastic view because it makes some really interesting choices. Ian Holm’s portrayal of Ismay is the first time I’ve seen him played as a broken man pushed to the edge. There’s also a lot more to do with the Carpathia, with a full epilogue to round the story off there too. It’s also interested in being quite detailed without needing to drown everything in melodrama. There’s a certain innocence and beauty to it all and the script allows the actors to work their magic. I would kill for the full unabridged version that aired on TV.

Favourite Character

One of the key things is the likeability of many characters in this film. I’ll go with David Warner on one of his three trips to Titanic in his film career for playing the perfect gentleman! Cloris Leachman’s Molly Brown is a narrowly beaten second however.

Best Death

The grand piano! I originally saw the film on TV when I was a young child and the moment stuck so much in my head, even though the name didn’t. It took me years before the internet came along for me to discover which film it had come from.

Weirdest Moment

There are only two flaws (aside from the it sank in one piece problem) that confuse me. One is because the DVD chops over 40 minutes of story, sometimes characters drop in and out for a while and then appear in two places right next to each other without warning. Helen Mirren goes from lifeboat to the smoking room back to back. Surely she’s going the wrong way?! Aside from that, the real footage of icebergs is clearly shot in the day time and when cut in between the effects of the ship itself at night-time, it’s jarring and slightly Twilight Zone esque.

Conclusion

For me there are three Titanic films that personally stand above the rest that I’ve seen to date. James Cameron’s Titanic for its lavish production and attention to detail, A Night to Remember for its fastidious account where it almost becomes documentary like and SOS Titanic for it feels almost like a scrapbook Diary version of events – somewhere pitched between the aforementioned two. All three are most worthy of your attention.

Film Review: Lightning: Bolts of Destruction

Posted in Lightning: Bolts of Destruction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2012 by Higher Plain Music

Or as I’d like to call the film – let’s have a family drama with a webcam! Cue one of the more hammiest disaster movies milked for TV moviedom.

The Premise

Lightning becomes positively charged and starts to develop huge storms to bring on a new ice age of course!

The Disasters Faced

Lightning, Wind, loss of connection on a skype call and being witness to some of the worst 2 second long CGI shots ever.

The Execution

This film aims itself firmly at the Sunday afternoon family audience. Everything here feels too warm, soft, glowing and fuzzy. Although the world is ending, we see so little of it and the film focuses on a “she’s not my mother!” plot which while is mildly entertaining, is not what I tuned in for. The script isn’t too bad in handling this but when you’ve little to keep you going on the disaster front it feels very much like an empty film that never comes together.

The Effects

Effects are used sparingly and thank God for that. We’re treated to static CGI models being given flames from what looks like a flash game. The only decent effect is an EMP ripple. Woo.

Why It’s Worth Watching

For family drama, it’s passable and the acting isn’t too bad. Quite why one family member is blatantly European amongst an entire cast of American’s I have no idea. Much of science is glossed over too so you’re not given a chance to dwell on that side either. Instead, the drinking game is left to taking a shot every time someone has a conversation on webcam. I thought we were watching a Skype documentary…

Best Death

There’s only one and he dies being electrocuted by touching a fire door. Even then he just shakes a little. How very PG.

Favourite Character

I’ll go for Ken Tremblett for playing a nice father who seems stuck with two argumentative family members. He seems so nice and warm, he could have bashed their heads together at the end and I have cheered him on!

Weirdest Moment

“Please tell me there’s no lightning in Cyber Space?” Pardon?!

Conclusion

As I’m sure you can tell, Lightning Bolts of Destruction left me cold. It’s not so much the production, the acting or the awful effects – it’s the non direction of it all. It’s 100 minutes of watching people talk on their webcam with little reward and incentive to keep watching. Dull.

Film Review: Polar Storm

Posted in Polar Storm with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2012 by Higher Plain Music

By placing the word storm on the end of a TV disaster movie hopes generally aren’t high for what is to come. Strangely though, there is really no storm in sight and the film is actually quite competent! Shocks all round then.

The Premise

A close passing meteor sheds its bum which crashes into Earth and rips the electromagnetic properties of our planet to shreds. The poles of Earth decide to do a switcheroo and that’s when its time to end the world.

The Disasters Faced

Meteor’s, earthquakes, EMP’s, a dodgy pace maker and a child so is trying soooo hard to be like Justin Bieber it hurts me on the inside.

The Execution

Whilst Polar Storm is heavily reliant on some of the most dubious science found in a recent disaster flick, it goes with it and fully commits to it with gusto. Whilst the film is clearly done on a shoestring budget, the actors involved aren’t slouching and get on with it too and this elevates the dull script. The film has three distinct acts. The meteor coming to Earth, the EMP dramas and the solution to any b-movie ever made – some nuclear bombs to round-up. Sadly the third act is so reliant on CGI that just doesn’t cut it, the film ends damply but it is solid enough up until then to hold your attention.

The Effects

The meteor, its crash and the earthquake effects are passable. What is not is the awful submarine effects in the final half hour which completely shatter any illusion you’ve been trying to pretend you’re in. It’s like an early PlayStation 2 FMV sequence.

Why Its Worth Watching

Polar Storm is well paced and doesn’t use all its cards in the first twenty minutes. It’s full of clichés and disaster movie must haves like moody teenagers, the loveable old man, daddy issues and the government once again not acting on advice. Those of you looking for the drinking game, take a shot whenever teenage Shane tries to look innocent/sexy at the camera is a slightly awkward Bieber pose.

Best Death

I’ll go for Michael (Rob Morton) as the best death when his pace maker decides to give out on an EMP and he does the best death fall in the movie.

Favourite Character

Every few characters are really nice or given much in the way of character development but Marsha Regis’ Pam is always a good lady to declare the end of the world with. I’m sure everyone would have been a bit calmer if she was more involved.

Weirdest Moment

Aside from the science side of the whole film which is just silly, notice that the film seems to use the same two roads over and over for everyone to stop during an EMP pulse – in some cases in the exact same spot! It just made me laugh.

Conclusion

Not bad enough to be a classic, it is an interesting concept of EMP’s causing havoc that keeps things in motion. It may fall flat with awful CGI in the final third and have some improbable moments but hey – what other disaster movies aren’t taking liberties with reality these days! Passable TV affair.

Film Review: Hindenburg

Posted in Hindenberg with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 9, 2011 by Higher Plain Music

Possibly one of the first disasters to be caught on TV feed, The Hindenburg is one of those moments that people will reflect back and note with historical importance. This 2011 adaptation was originally a three-hour TV adaptation but has been scaled down to just over half that to make a relatively pacey movie that despite some iffy accents, is relatively well put together and the actual disaster itself is surprisingly explosive.

The Premise

We follow the secret lives of various people aboard the Hindenburg before it fatefully bursts into flames.

The Disasters Faced

A bomb, a ton of hydrogen, static electricity, an affinity with men’s toilets and some dodgy guess the accent games.

The Execution

Due to the fact no one has ever been able to pinpoint the exact cause of the disaster, this film decides to take several of the theories and merge them all together. Most of the character driven plot and subtext drive the bomb theory and this throws most of the cast into the “whose got the bomb” story. What that does, by shrinking the story down by half, is drop a lot of the subplots and characters into a few small scenes. A Jewish family is introduced but half hour in with a suspiciously pervy magician but then suddenly are thrown into main characters for the explosion and then be dropped straight after. As a whole though, there doesn’t appear to be gaping holes missing in the story. However in the background an electrical storm is going on throughout and this is the other main theory for the crash. It’s fun to see the two ideas flirted with. As for the disaster itself, for what only lasted a minute in real life, it’s stretched to a couple on film in slow motion but is well done, even if it’s quickly over.

The Effects

The Hindenburg looks fantastic. Good sets, period cars and the ship itself looks great. The explosion itself and subsequent action is well shot and the flame effects are way above the standard TV fair. There’s some good burn make up too. Yum!

Why It’s Worth Watching

From a historical point of view, I’ve no idea how accurate it is but it does feel like you’re viewing a bit of history. The acting is generally fine but the accents do take a wander from German trying to sound English to American to just stilted in a strange manner. However, because it’s not just one actor, it’s everyone, after a while it feels quite normal to have everyone talk in a bizzaro hybrid of accents. If you enjoy a good drinking game, I suggest a shot for every time someone turns out to already know a bomb is onboard. You’ll be sozzled by half way. (I think I need to make a new sub heading for drinking game from now on)

Best Death

I want to say Mummy Dearest for burning in a very large fireball (yay) but I think Eckner may take it after being murdered and dumped in the men’s toilet’s urinal. What an insult to injury!

Favourite Character

Strangely, not many characters stand out for me in the movie because no one appears to be good or bad, it’s all a blurring line. I’ll go for the lead lady Lauren Lee Smith as she’s very Winslet-esque.

Weirdest Moment

There’s a magician and performer onboard and there’s a very random scene where he emerges with a cabin boy making slightly sexual strange remarks only to then tell our leading male he’s off to the male toilets as he hopes to have as much action in them as he has. Of course he’s referring to the murder beforehand but it just comes across in a sinister kidnapper manner – not helped by the fact many of his other scenes are with a young girl.

Conclusion

Competent mystery before an explosive finale that while is over too soon, is worth the wait, Hindenburg is a good disaster flick. It’s certainly not a great one because of the strange accents, the completely inappropriate modern rock soundtrack and the strange need it has to over score scenes. It is a quirky entry because of its unique subject matter and disaster movie buffs could do a lot worse. Just don’t expect to feel much for the characters.

Film Review: Flight 93

Posted in Flight 93 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 10, 2011 by Higher Plain Music

As we reach the ten-year anniversary of  a day that’s gone down in history, 9/11,  I’d like to go over a few of the films that have been made surrounding the event.

Flight 93 tells the story of the people whom were on the 4th plane and their heroic and moving plight to retake back their hijacked plane. This is the more emotional of the two main films about the planes, with United 93 being more documentary styled. Flight 93 focuses more on the people themselves, the emotional phone calls between them and their families on the ground and occasional glimpses of communication centres. It reminds me very much of how World Trade Centre deals with everything. Filmic, emotional but tasteful – never taking too much of a hollywood licence and staying relatively true to events as much as we know.

Toned down documentary style movies succeed based on the acting and the acting of the plane cast is generally excellent, as are the crew and comms room people – especially Monnae Michaell with her Lord’s Prayer scene. The same cannot be said for the families however with some of the emotional scenes looking almost slightly awkward. Crying with no tears really feels out-of-place yet a few of the actresses to this and it just takes away from the experience. The shaky, slightly too zoom-heavy camera work isn’t intrusive so you still feel like it’s a realistic portrayal without it being over the top ramping up the tension. Also its minimal use of underscoring helps make the film rise above a standard TV movie level to something that was aiming for higher.

However the only negative I can find with Flight 93 that other viewers may feel is that it’s too emotional based. If you came here looking for precise accounts of the operation then United 93 takes that route, while Flight 93 focuses on characters only. There’s no real right or wrong way of portraying the event between the two, it’s just down to personal preference. If you are emotionally invested however, you will find this the draining of the two as you will be reduced to tears egging the passengers on despite knowing their fate. That’s what makes accounts like this all the poignant, upsetting yet utterly fascinating to watch.

On a personal note, I enjoy the film as a piece of cinema despite it still seeming personally still a bit too close to the original events. The difference between these and say Titanic films is that there’s such a period of time over the event, you feel somewhat removed from it all. That’s a debate up for discussion for a long time I’d imagine and by going for the more Hollywood feel, this one hits closer to the knuckle than United 93. More effective potentially, but more potentially offensive compared to the more “business like factual” presentation of United 93.

Film Review: United 93

Posted in United 93 with tags , , , , , , , on September 10, 2011 by Higher Plain Music

United 93 is the second well-known film centered around the fourth plane hijack. From the outset this film goes for as factual documentary style as possible by staying in the various communication centers and the plane itself. It’s a testament that several of the people actually play themself in the film as to how respectful and tastefully done it is.

In what feels like an almost realtime account of the events, we see each crash in turn from the people trying to manage the situation and exactly how impossible everyone’s job must have been on that day. The first hour centers around the general chaos of the morning itself as everyone shouts back and forth trying to make sense of events while the latter half focuses on the United 93 flight. This is where this adaptation is head and shoulders above the rest. By having some of the real people on the day being involved in the film, it lends credibility to what so many people like to have an opinion on.

The acting is superb throughout and there are no effects shots from outside the plane to put you off or take you outside of the general experience. It’s also filmed in a way that is dynamic but not intrusive – less camera shake wannabe documentary and more dirt and braces feel. It also doesn’t go tugging at heart-strings either by using the obvious things such as babies, the Lord’s Prayer (the moment that always gets me in Flight 93 yet I’m very aware that its being included for a reason) and a several goodbye calls but they are part of the films overall scope, not the whole scope.

I think United 93 knows that it could never fully include every single brave and heroic person and so includes very short snippets of lots of people and this makes a lot of sense. It’s not often I talk about extras on a DVD but United 93 makes a marked difference with two particular features. The first is a memorial section with a biography for each life lost on that flight. The second is an hour documentary about how the families have dealt with having such a high-profile disaster happening to them. It’s very interesting to hear what these people have to say and how they’ve formed a bond with each other as a new family as they mourn and pay tribute to their lost loved ones. Some of the actors meet with the families and it must have been an extremely surreal experience as they’ve matched physically the characters quite closely.

Ultimately I feel United 93 is the stronger film of the ones based on the ’93 plane. It displays everything in an understated way and although the last ten minutes, we will never entirely know what happened, it’s still done tastefully well. Add to that all the participation and support from the real people effected, it feels like this is the closest you can get to a supported recreation of the actual events.

Film Review: Raise the Titanic

Posted in Raise the Titanic with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 5, 2011 by Higher Plain Music

Whilst not technically a real disaster movie, “Raise the Titanic” falls into a strange category of film. It’s an action, adventure, drama based on a real disaster but without really dealing with any of the above. In what is a very confused film, there is little enjoyment to be had. Full steam ahead with the review then!

The Premise

In the name of America (hallelujah!) a new mineral is discovered that could revolutionize defense systems and it can only be found in one place in the entire world – the sunken Titanic. That’s going to be one hell of a rucksack to carry that over your shoulder. It’s time to raise the beast!

The Disasters Faced

Drownings, implosions, a lot of murky camera work and generally being anywhere near any of the leading characters as they’re all as likeable as athletes foot.

The Execution

Based from a Novel that I’ve never read, Raise the Titanic had a whopping $36 million budget. That’s three times the size of The Towering Inferno. The question I ask is where did it all go? In film of two distinct halves, the first is devoted to setting up several characters who will form part of the group to Raise the poor boat from the water. Interestingly Anne Archer and Alec Guiness are not in that team and simply feature for a couple of scenes. Why they are splattered all over the cover arts I’ve no idea. However, what all the characters also have in common is that none of them are likable in the slightest. The script and actors are overwrought with angst dialogue as everyone tries to show they’ve got bigger balls than the rest to the point where it becomes aggravating. A love triangles introduced only to be dropped unresolved half way. Everyone suddenly decides to work together bang on the half way mark. It’s like the directors had a tick sheet of what they felt needed to be shoved into a movie and then crammed it all in without rhyme or reason.

However while so much emphasis is given to all these unlikable characters, very little is given to the real star of the show itself – the Titanic. The best and most coherent moments in the film are about the ship itself and even though it’s factually incorrect, the model itself is impressive – but never exploited. It’s all about the mineral and that’s where the film goes so very wrong for me. If everyone disregards the huge scale of that event if it were to ever happen as they do in the movie, it makes everyone seem like tasteless jerks. As a result I couldn’t care for the plot, the characters or the conclusion.

The Effects

The model used for the Titanic was the biggest model used ever at that time and it looks good even if time hasn’t been massively kind to the effects. Where I assume the budget went was in the underwater photography which is eerie and beautiful at the same time. Some of it is very murky but then that’s what I’d expect. The submersible scenes are well executed too.

Why Its Worth Watching

The story is awful, the characters dull but the set piece of the raising itself is well done. Any Titanic interest can be found in the inaccuracies – some quite large. I was most interested in the film from this historical angle. As a film on its own merit, it doesn’t really do anything wrong – it’s just a jack of all trades and a master of none.

Best Death

No named characters die so the best death sequence is when a leaking sub implodes on itself. Rather nasty stuff!

Favourite Character

The Titanic itself. None of the humans are worthy of the vote. They are all that bad!

Weirdest Moment

The Titanic pops out of the Ocean with three masts and not one that it went down with.

Conclusion

I was left frustrated at what could have been. Raise the Titanic appeared to miss the whole point of the film. Aside from the beginning montage of pictures and the actual docking scenes themselves, its like they could have raised a rubber dingy out the water and had the same reaction. Add in characters from hell and a general dullness across the board and Raise the Titanic is hard to recommend.

Film Review: Meteor Storm

Posted in Meteor Storm with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 24, 2011 by Higher Plain Music

From the director of Megasnake and Spiders 3D… ok we know what we’re letting ourselves in for then! Actually, for once I was pleasantly surprised – Meteor Storm has plenty of faults but it has its heart in the right place and is actually quite enjoyable indeed!

The Premise

A big meteor shower that’s meant to just be pretty turns nasty when the meteors containing a new element yet to be discovered fall from the sky. With each passing storm, things deteriorate. Yay!

The Disasters Faced

Meteors, comets, falling buildings, falling bridges, falling everything, a news crew that MUST GET THAT SHOT and bad mobile reception.

The Execution

Despite (in spite?) the directors legendary credentials Meteor Storm is a very tightly wound movie. The opening segment see’s an opening mini storm which sets up everything and introduces us to a collection of people. Of course we have the all new ideal family – separated parents who we know will be back together by the end, stupid children who do things like run off on their own and use lifts in a burning building (oh dear) and a news duo who will do anything to get a story. All the characters are heavily clichéd but in an endearing way. The leading duo do a remarkably good job of having internal dramas without everything becoming soap opera and the films much better for this.  No one is grating aside from the new reporter and you know he’ll get his comeuppance at some point. The film basically follows a storm – aftermath – science bit – revelation wheel several times before the finale. This ensures things aren’t stale and the science parts are kept down to small bite size chunks. The plot itself is silly and there’s some real problems with general character IQ levels – the children especially – but it’s all harmless fun.

The Effects

The meteor sections are fun to watch because some of the CGI is awful – especially the orange explosions. What’s worse is the green screen effects where you can see how things have not been blended well and things look really 2D. In fact the green screen is some of the ropiest I’ve seen in a while. Where things do pick up are in the bigger set pieces. The collapse of the Golden Gate is done well and so is the collapse of the huge tower block.

Why It’s Worth Watching

Meteor Storm has a decent amount of action. There’s two good set pieces, a fair amount of destruction for a low-budget flick and good tension throughout. The acting is above average for this type of film and that does a lot to make it so much more credible. There’s an abnormal amount of eye candy as well for men and women. There’s also a glint of enjoyment as you watch people doing things that defy all logic whatsoever and also spotting the massive continuity problems such as people being surrounded in traffic as they try to get out the city while the lead male chats happily next to a quiet street where cars roam freely. Other things include the Golden Gate bridge only being open one way despite a city evacuation (with traffic flowing into the city), man of motorcycles get saluted by armed guards for no reason and helicopter pilots sit stunned watching their ‘copters explode while civilians rush to help.

Best Death

Two main characters die. I’ll go for poor Laura who goes in the big Golden Gate Bridge disaster. After crashing her car, instead of climbing out the window she decides to just shout and scream for five minutes before remembering there’s a window or boot to crawl out of and promptly and deservedly splashes into the river down below. A shame though, all she ever did was help the entire time – confirming the never be too nice theory in disaster movies – you will be bumped off!

Favourite Character

This is a real close one. Camera lady Lena (Lara Golchrist) wins as she is great with her one liners throughout as the comic relief. She hits the dry humour well and manages to get away with lines that shouldn’t really work in a script. However just behind Harper (Carmen Moore) who is severely underused in this film. In every scene she’s in she’s eating, looking disinterested in all that’s going on and like she just wants to be left alone with her pizza! Great.

Weirdest Moment

At the first meteor wave poor Jack is hit by a Meteor (I assume – it’s never explained). He then spends the entire film unable to get medical attention! For some reason the children take the entire night and morning to walk vaguely about down populated streets with flowing traffic stating they can’t get to the hospital. When they eventually get there, they give up because there’s a road block. Eventually instead of getting medical treatment Jack then wanders home and takes some pain killers and falls asleep and is left in a crumbling building. This then means our brave children, too lazy to take the stairs up 26 levels to get to him and rescue him decide to use the lift in a burning, crumbling building. Go figure. They then get stuck and cause the rest of the cast to turn up! The whole set up is one of the worst constructed plot devices I’ve ever come across and is utterly hilarious because of it.

Conclusion

Meteor Storm is elevated from utter tosh by its credible acting, tightly paced flow and some characters whose decisions are so stupid you have to watch to see what situations their ineptness takes them next. Coming in at a tight hour and a half, its fun, mindless and cheesy but instead of outwardly going for that edge like say Megasnake, this disaster movie straddles seriousness with silly and gets the tone spot on for its budget. Much better than your average TV disaster flick.

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