seattlesuperstorm01
You will hate them all by the credits roll

If ever there was an antidote for people having second marriages and merging their children together – this film is it!

Released: 2012

Runtime: 1h 28 mins

The Premise

After a strange unidentified object is shot out of the sky and crashes into Seattle strange storms begin to occur meaning death to us all!

The Disasters Faced

Meteors, storms, lightning, botox, having the most annoying children in the history of cinema, tentacles and a lack of water to survive. Not in that order either!

The Execution

As usual with these SyFy movies, you know the effects will be bad, the premise crazy and things will generally be ok in the end. What I didn’t account for was the sheer unlikability of any of the characters what so ever. Emma our lead lady is dating Tom who has moved his son and himself closer to be with her and her whiny daughter and all she does is be vague about their relationship. Her daughter antagonises his son who lacks any personality or void spark of life and they spend the vast majority of their scenes arguing. I guess its a testament to their acting skills that I detested them that much! Elsewhere the characters aren’t as lame but they have so little to work with, you’ve guessed who will die within their opening exchanges on screen. What I did enjoy was that the movie starts out at the height of the movie – leaves you with a cliffhanger and then goes back 9 hours to lead you back to that point. There’s also a decent amount of mystery as to what the meteor object is that crashes down even if it is very Star Trek about how its all solved.

seattlesuperstorm02
Far from convincing, but much better than before – some of the effects are vaguely ok

The Effects

SyFy are gradually improving their hazy grey look of the old tornado’s slowly but what I found strange was that the whole movie palette had a grey tint to it. I wonder if it was used to try and blend the CGI in a little better. Space Needle falling takes the dubious effect award – why did anyone build a tower that’s anorexic like that anyway – it’s bound to topple over!

Why It’s Worth Watching

This movie has a bit more Sci-Fi to it than other disasters and whilst the acting isn’t awful, it’ll certainly get you by. I generally can tell the acting standard by how much botox the lead lady looks to have had but Ona does well (plus I can’t tell if its the eyebrows that make it look like she’s botox’d to the hills or not). Aside from that, its a very standard disaster fare with little to stand out.

Drinking Game

Oh. Is that a bratty child having an argument? Drink! Oh – is that their parents also arguing? Drink! Oh – are they ALL arguing? Just down it… only dreams now.

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My eyebrows say I am surprised. I promise.

Best Character

I’m struggling here – possibly Matty Finochino as the only normal guy in the film, Ben. Nice guys always bite it!

Best Death

It has to be Jacob being struck by lightning! He just evaporates into flaming shoes! It needed a comedy cue…

Weirdest Moment

Most of the scenes involving token Russian Dimitry. He has a permanent “wahhhh???” expression on his face for the first hour and why on earth he is in the movie at all is beyond me. The closing moment is strange too. The family of four cuddled on a balcony deciding where to have their wedding. “Can you chose somewhere a little less destroyed?” says the boy and we cut to picture of a pristine Seattle. What are you saying man!?!

Random Trivia

Not one piece of live action footage was shot in Seattle. It was filmed in Vancouver, Canada instead. Says a lot.

Conclusion

Usually, I enjoy bad films. This is just bad. The characters are awful, the family has a death touch to anyone that comes near them – no wonder they are so mucked up! This is an exercise in how not to do character development.

One thought

  1. Oh, so I’m not the only person who made it through this awful film? What really got me is that the Lt. Cmdr. was never in uniform. Plus the fact that no other military officials seemed to be involved at all, not even over the phone. It was just her tussling with that civilian official like they were the only authorities on earth. Now that’s low budget!

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