Film Review: Ba’al The Storm God

I don’t really know where to start. It’s not even a proper disaster movie. Infact, its so bad its sub movie altogether. Ba’al ends up being such a mish mash of nothing it ruins itself before we can turn it off. Bad. Bad. Bad. So that means we’ve got to watch it in fascination right? Good!

The Premise

Some polystyrene statues house Ba’al The Storm God who wants to wreak havoc on the world. Apparently.

The Disasters Faced

A storm God, very heavy polystyrene statues, lots of sandstorms, thunder, lightning, rain, awful acting, rubber swords and evil clouds.

The Execution

My main problem is that its billed as a disaster movie yet it plays out more like one of those dreaded low budget treasure hunt films you watch when you’re desperately bored. It involves lots of pointing at maps, shouting things like “this is impossible” and plot lines of double crosses on your double crosses that were already triple crossed the last scene. For once we’re spared for the most part of any romantisisms from our lead duo though so we can thankful for some small mercies!

However one thing that does seem to gel well is the general acting approach as the cast clearly realise that in order to get any kind of entertainment from what’s left, a slightly tounge in cheek approach (a bit like The Mummy but not as good) is used. Infact The Mummy appears to have influnced a lot of things in the film. Ba’al likes to form his face in the storm clouds, make massive sand storms and even our lead looks like Brendan Fraser. This lends itself to feeling overly familiar without being actually good at anything and therefore just feels completely by numbers and missable.

The Effects

The sandstorm effects aren’t bad to be fair and the varied locations make for some plesant scenary. Where it falls down is on the statues that appear to wobble when inserting “gems”. Some of the Ba’al effects looks suspicious too, but for TV affair its far from offensive.

Why It’s Worth Watching

It’s not!

Although that’s a bit of a sweeping statement. Disasters are often referred to but kept off screen and so you’re left with a rotten treasure hunt. I suppose seeing the baddie come a cropper is always worthwhile.

Best Death

Again death by statue early on wins the day, followed by… well death by statue again at the end of the movie! Maybe the film needs to be renamed Ba’al The Death Statue!

Favourite Character

It is very hard to pick out a character as likeable. The leading duo are paper thin, the baddie isn’t really bad enough to be thought of as devilish and Ba’al never really makes an appearance. I think I’ll go for the bit part of Innuit Guard played by Duane Howard who promtly ditches all the main characters in a desert trench early on and spouts a load of prophetic warnings before driving off full pelt in the car. Yes, the barrel has been scraped!

Weirdest Moment

The way how when running around on their treasure hunt, everyone comes up with the most insane explanations for everything as if we were ever stupid to think otherwise with the underwater gem being the worst culprit.

Conclusion

Inept, non disasterish and just damn right dull, Ba’al is more of a storm in a teacup than an end of the world kick ass God. This is barely a disaster movie in any respect and I was sorely dissapointed – even for a TV movie!

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