Dear God,
Should the Mayan’s be right, please deliver 4 guides to a random monument so they can deliver a new baby Jesus and save the world by repenting their sins and starting anew…oh – 2012 Doomsday you say? Hmmm….
The Premise
Four people feel a call to travel to Mexico on the last day of Planet Earth on a spiritual journey. Picked a fine day to do so!!!
The Disasters Faced
Volcanoes, Earthquakes, Tidal Waves, Trees, Food Poisioning, Bad Acting, Awful Scripts, Irratating Voices and Babies in Temples!
The Execution
Oh dear. Obviously thrown together to try to rinse some of 2012’s success, this film’s 85 minute religious hoccum revolves around four people who like to scream things like “I must go!” and “I’m going with you!” while they becomes enlightened by the fact that Christianity is King apparently.
From the awful script, the actors of varying degrees of ability are thrown into stupid situations. One lady decides to trek across the continent overnight because she saw a temple in her dream and then on a dead man. One lady is wandering around trekking with a tribe in the Jungle, with her fully charged cell phone of course meeting random men who then wander around aimlessly in the jungle with her. Nothing really makes sense at all and then suddenly a lady who barely says two words all film and is in only a few scenes is chucked on a stone throne and pops out Jesus II The Revenge and suddenly “the End of the World” stops. That’s one powerful push from mankind!
Random eh?
I love the fact that one character basically screams her way through the film. I love the fact that people just agree to travel across the Jungle with people they’d never met before because its “destiny”. I love the fact this film is completely irredeemable!
The Effects
Well, the effects are kept to an absolute minimum. The volcano at the beginning is passable, the earthquakes are just camera shakes and the tidal waves and tornadoes are only really hinted at. It’s dissapointing that it cuts away from all these disaster without showing anything that happens to them. It then means you’ve sat through utter tripe for nothing!
Why It’s Worth Watching
The acting is over the top helerious. Some of the voices are just so… not of this world! There are so funny deaths of non main characters, almost all the deaths you can forecast within their first few scenes. The actual cinematography isn’t too bad and some of the stuff around Mexico looks quite good but effects, music, everything else basically, is so cheap its good to laugh at. It’s also fun to spot the errors going on like camera rails in the shot and leaves not blowing in the wind etc.
Best Death
I found the man squashed by a huge ball of volcanic rubble to be the most fun!
Favourite Character
I can honestly say none of the four main characters were nice at all. I found them all bitter and whiny. Why God chose them to be messengers to deliver Jesus II the Revenge I have no idea! At least Alex, played by Joshua Lee, was a nice helpful guy but we all know what happen to those in disaster movies…
Weirdest Moments
The whole day changing to night as Jesus II is born. The whole thing just slaps heavy handed Christian brainwash properganda rubbish and the whole film is go geared towards being enlightened by this act, its just uncomfortable.
Conclusion
2012 Doomsday is a lesson in how not to make a movie. It’s shockingly awful from start to finish with no rewarding merits apart from perhaps making it a drinking game for whenever someone mentions “End of the World”, “Fate”, “I must go there” or some Christian symbol is thrown in for good measure. You’ll be slaughtered 20 minutes in!
I Love Disaster Movies! 