Film Review: Stonehenge Apocalypse

stonhenge1

Run from Foamhenge and the CGI lightning Misha!

It’s low-budget sci-fi, it’s where Americans tell the Brits how its done, it’s where Foamhenge takes over the world! Well almost…

Release Date : 2010

Running Time : 90 minutes

The Premise

Stonehenge appears to be a countdown clock to doomsday and it suddenly pops into life and decides it wants to use electromagnetic energy (that old chestnut) to wipe the world anew and start from scratch. Not good news for us then!

The Disasters Faced

Foamhenge, a lot of butchered British accents, volcanoes, electromagnetic discharges and your run of the mill end of the world cult.

The Execution

Stonehenge Apocalypse is an interesting beast. It mascarades as a disaster movie but ends up being more of a run around a lot low-budget sci-fi chase movie. After a pant wettingly comedic opening disaster (which is actually the best bit sadly) we’re set into a race against time to work out what’s going on with ole Hengey. The problem is mainly that the film itself doesn’t explain what’s going on clearly and plot lines pick up, drop and then resurface in such random clumps sometimes you’re left scratching your head. If anything though, it then makes you stick with it because it is so bitty and confusing to begin with. Eventually it all ties back together for the grande finale showdown. Will the world end? Of course not, but we’ll gladly watch everyone overact and exclaim “Oh…my…..GOD!” over and over while we reach the conclusion.

Film Title: Stonehenge Apocalypse

That action is just top notch…

The Effects

The foamhenge’s moving around scene is just so surreal – I give top marks to whomever envisaged that. It’s so funny to watch as well. There’s one scene where Angkor explodes into a volcano and also another where the Pyramids turn into mechanisms and detonate  but its over so quickly using CGI that could have come from a late PlayStation 1 game you’ve barely time to take it all in. In fact, the effects shots are very sparse throughout. Most of the money is spent on getting sets yoinked from various other SyFy channel backlots it seems!

Why It’s Worth Watching

Confusing as it may be at times, the 85 minute mark sets up S.A. to be a fast paced film. While it has TV movie written all over it, you can see  people have tried very hard to put some love into it. The acting is over the top ham and the script doesn’t help (“It’s a ROBOT HEAD!!!”). In fact every time anyone does anything to defy logic you should have a shot of alcohol. I guarantee you, you’ll be on the floor after 45 minutes.

Favourite Character

It’s got to be Marla. For the first half of the film, maybe even an hour, she only spills a cup of coffee. Then suddenly she’s a main character from nowhere for about twenty minutes before meeting her end in a camp horror fashion. The accent wasn’t that bad!

Drinking Game

Each time you can hear Collins groan from the inside. This is Asylum at their borst (my new phrase of them).

Best Death

The opening segment is pure comedy gold. Watch as frightened tourists watch and gasp as Stonehenge spins around them only for them to be electrocuted to dust moments later. The tour guide looks like she’s auditioning for Carry-On Disaster!

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This effects shot is sadly one of the best in an otherwise laughable disaster movie

Weirdest Moment

The end baddie. It just doesn’t work at all.  Badly edited, the characters move around distance wise to such a massive degree its off-putting and well, after seeing off the main adversary earlier in the film, the final baddie just seems like he needs a hug, a meal and a woman and then he’ll settle down.

Random Trivia

The word “electromagnetic” is said 26 times during this movie. Yay science!

Conclusion

Stonehenge Apocalypse isn’t the worst disaster movie (or best depending on your view) but its premise is comedy gold. The opening five minutes shows you the best part of the film. The rest is entertaining for myriad of good and bad reasons. However I would watch it again. It could become a cult guilty pleasure and combined with the drinking game above, a good staple to the awful film drinking nights I hold on occasion.

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